I have a goal. I never have goals. I'm going to save up $1000.00 so I can move back to California. I don't want to leave what I have here but I'm sorry. I can't be here anymore, it's making me too depressed. Lifeless. Fake. I'm not who I was and in some ways I guess it's good. But I didn't want to change. I didn't want to leave my life behind and it doesn't seem like my life out here is going anywhere. I want to run away to California and attempt to live out my hopeless dreams. I feel useless out here.